4 weeks and 6 days

We are officially preggers!!! After my transfer on Monday May 2, I started my home pregnancy test obsession. I peed on a stick everyday (sometimes twice if my results were "iffy") so that I would know when the HCG shot had left my system and when (if) my own pregnancy had begun to start producing the hormone. I got my first positive test at 5dp5dt (5 days past five day transfer)!! That was 5 whole days before my official beta test on Wednesday the 11th. I think most doctors recommend not testing at home because it creates added stress and anxiety, but for me I NEED to test. Its like a drug, a magic color coded drug. You pee on a stick waiting for that magic second line to appear...is it there? maybe if I look at it under a different light? I'll just leave it on the counter and check back every 30 seconds...no? I'll try again in 12 hours...I bet it will be there then!! It doesn't matter that I only had the transfer 2 days prior or that it is just simply impossible to for it to show up...I still pee, pray and hope. Then on that beautiful Saturday morning I pulled out the big guns. I had been using cheap early detection pregnancy tests that I got from the internet for like 70 cents a pop. They were not helping my obsession because they all seemed to be inconclusive. From day 1 after the transfer I was getting not negative and definitely not positive results....So Saturday I pulled out my one remaining (from a previous pregnancy) non internet cheapie "Answer" home pregnancy test. TWO LINES (faint but there)!!!! I couldn't have been Happier! I went to work and immediately on the way home bought six more and I used them until I got a nice dark double line (see above pictures). Once that line was dark my heart could rest easy while I waited to have my official beta blood test.

On Wednesday I went to my doctors early to get my blood drawn. I was pleasantly greeted by Tasha, who is the nurse in charge of taking blood. I must have been the first of many scheduled to come in that day because she told me everyone is coming in today for their first beta. I already knew I was pregnant, and I hoped that the other women were having as good of a day as me! Results back from that day were good. A strong 130. This number alone means nothing though. I had to go back on Friday to make sure that the numbers were doubling which signals a healthy viable pregnancy.

On Friday I went back and repeated the process. Tasha greeted me with a happy congratulations and said the first number was good. I asked her if they had a lot of pregnancies from Wednesday's group and she told me so, far I am the only one who is pregnant! That made me sad to hear. I mean I am so so so so thankful that I am the lucky one, but realize it could have just as easily been us who were getting that negative result. Part of me is grieving for those women and their families even though I don't even know them.
After my blood test I waited around impatiently checking my phone all day at work while I waited for Tina to call me with my results....SO stressful. I finally called her right before I left and great news!! My numbers needed to be at least 260 and they were well into the 300's. I can't remember the number exactly because I was so excited when I heard the 3 that I must have blanked out for the rest. So, now we get to wait until the first Ultra sound which hopefully will have a heartbeat (s). The US is scheduled for May 31st and I will be 1 day shy of 7 weeks.

How am I feeling?
Good. Happy. Tired, no exhausted. No crazy symptoms yet besides sore boobs, tiredness, and an enhanced gag reflex. Oh and my butt is sooo bruised and sore! This is not a pregnancy symptom, but it is an IVF symptom. If its not bad enough that I had to endure 30 days of shots in my tummy before all the procedures, now the needles have gotten bigger and the location has changed and my butt is sore!! Not to mention that I have to take them for at least another 3 weeks. By my calculations when this is done and over and including only 1 cycle....I will have endured approximately 130 home shots!!! That is a lot of poking! Thank goodness for John!!

Well thats about all I have for now. Praying for a healthy uneventful pregnancy.

Yay! and Yay!

Yay! #1: Today was the embryo transfer! Everything went fantastically smooth. We transferred two embryos and just before the transfer we we got to see the little guys up close on a screen. We watched as the embryologist changed the medium they were in and then she sucked them up in a tube and handed them to dr. F. With in seconds they were placed inside my uterus and we were able to see on the screen exactly where they were. Modern technology is more than incredible! The entire procedure took maybe 5 minutes. Now its 2ww (two week wait) which is probably the longest most torturous time for any woman who is seeking to get pregnant! On the positive side though the statistics for two embryo's transferred are:80% singleton pregnancy and 20% twins. Those are good odds if you ask me!

Yay! #2: We found out today that 10 eggs fertilized, not 7. I have been trying not to stress about the quality of the embryo's because sometimes that means absolutely nothing. So, I haven't asked exactly how good they look. But Dr. F assures me that 7 (not including the two best ones we had transferred) look good and that will most likely get a couple to freeze. Great news!!! It might just save us from having to go through the entire process again in the future!

Thats it for now...just gonna get back to waiting....:)

Tomorrow is the day of anticipation! We go in at 9:30 and the implantation should happen somewhere close to 10:00 am. Am I excited?? Absofrickenlutely!!! I have not actually heard how many eggs made it to this point, so I can only assume that all seven are doing well. Hopefully we will have some frostbabies from this cycle.

I have to admit I am getting extreme baby fever! I have been keeping myself creating all kinds of baby stuff. Luckily I have friends expecting and a nephew still in the baby stage of life or I might start creating things for our unborn children which would only be incredibly depressing if this IVF cycle doesn't work. Making this stuff has been a great way to help keep me busy and allowed me to think about babies, but not in a sad depressing way! I will post pics of what I made at the end (They uploaded to the top so see above).

So, yesterday I was thinking about how I write on this blog, so all of you know when we will be potentially conceiving and most people don't tell people when they get pregnant for 8-20 weeks. What was I gonna do? immediately stop writing and avoid all contact and phone calls for 2 months?? Not gonna happen. Then I thought well it will be very sad if not only John and I get our hopes up, but then friends and family too only to be disappointed because we don't get pregnant or something worse happens. But then I came to the conclusion that having the opportunity to go through IVF is a blessing and aside from adoption it is the only thing we can do to have a baby. So, if we do get pregnant, even though I will be nervous, I want to be able to rejoice in that miracle (even if it ends up being short lived). I also reminded myself that if we don't get pregnant then its OK to be sad and as terrifying and disappointing as I will be I know that each of you as well as Jesus would share in our sadness. That it actually might be better getting through it with a community. Hopefully it will all be rejoicing though!!!

Embryo Update day 2

I spoke with my coordinator today and she got the results from the embryologist for the amount of eggs that fertilized. We have 7 embryos that took and are hopefully having the transfer on Monday. I was a little disappointed that out of 18 eggs only 7 fertilized, but all I need is one good egg right? 7 is a good number! I know that beggers can't be choosers, but I am still hoping that enough make it to the final stage to give me good results this cycle as well as have a couple left to freeze for a future cycle. Time will tell I guess.
I love thinking about all those little babies growing and changing, even though they are sitting in a
petri dish in a lab, and most likely not all of them will make it, they are still our babies and at this moment they are conceived.
For now just praying that they divide like they are supposed to and don't have any abnormalities.

18 kids and counting

Ahhh relief! The hardest part is officially over!!

Today was the Embryo Retrieval. I worried about if this process was going to be painful, if I would feel anything or if I would be awake. The anesthesiologist hooked up an IV and gave me oxygen, once everyone was ready he gave me gas and wow does that stuff work fast. I was instantly sleepy. I do remember (with my eyes closed) telling my doctor I was still awake (just in-case he thought I was out already and wanted to begin poking me with the giant needle he had waiting). I feel like I was clear and enunciated well, but I am sure it sounded something more like "ima ssstole wake". The last thing I remember was listening to "moon dance" by Van Morrison while I drifted away into a deep sleep.

While I was out they inserted an ultra-sound probe with a needle and a sucking machine attached and Dr. F watched the ultra-sound screen and gently inserted the needle into each follicle and sucked out its contents. I began to wake up before they were completely done because I remember the poking feeling and it being noticeably painful. I remember saying "I can feel that" but, I'm guessing nothing came out. I came out of my sleepy state quickly and they showed me all the little eggs on the screen.
Here is an example of the procedure:


There were 21 follicles and from those follicles we have 18 little embryos being fertilized at this very moment!!!! I feel like a proud hen and a big basket of eggs, maybe I will make a good farmer one day!:) Tomorrow my coordinator will call me and tell me how many of those embryos fertilized and the next day we will have an idea of the quality. If the quality is so so the transfer will be on Saturday, If the quality is good then the transfer will be on Monday.

Here is hoping for a Monday transfer!!:):)

On a side note yesterday and today have been complete bliss! No shots! But alas, my days as a human pin cushion are not over. Tomorrow begins the progesterone shots and from what I hear they are the most painful. Progesterone is to maximize the environment inside my uterus so we give the embryos the best possible chance. If I get a positive pregnancy test then I will be taking this shot for the next 6-8 weeks.

I will update you all as soon as I know how many eggs fertilized!! Yay!!!